Frustrating as it is, some brides just won’t call you, no matter how much you want them to. They’ll go to your website and even send you emails, so why won’t they just pick up the phone and call? Well, there are as many reasons as there are brides.

It should come as no shock to you but brides are doing much of their wedding planning while they are at work. The busiest days and times of the week for our wedding sites, TheKnot.com and WeddingChannel.com, are during the week and during the day. While she can secretly view websites while at her desk, calling is a lot harder. Sure, some can and do, but many of  today and tomorrow's brides are more likely to email you from their desk than to call. It’s not that this bride doesn’t want to talk to you, it’s just not convenient at those times.

So, who is this phone-averse bride? This generation of brides, and those coming after her, have been raised on technology. This is the MySpace, YouTube, FaceBook, Twitter generation. They are accustomed to using the Internet at school, email at work ,and text messaging with their friends. While it’s frustrating for most vendors, these brides are very comfortable communicating this way. Our average bride is 27. That means the girls graduating high school this year will be your brides in the next 5, 10 or 15 years.
If you watch your children, nieces, cousins, or just kids on the street, you can see that technology is a huge part of their lives. Cell phones, iPods, video games! Don’t fret. All is not lost, especially on the vendors who are in their 40’s, 50’s and beyond. You can adapt to this technology, as generations before us have adapted.

The advice I usually give to vendors I meet at trade shows and seminars is to consider email the same as verbal conversation. That’s really all it is, only without the instant response. Write in a conversational style so when they read it, they can “hear” you talking to them. Think about the movies, when someone is reading an email or letter, and they hear the voice of the person who wrote it.

Let your personality come through. Make them feel comfortable “talking” to you this way, so hopefully they will want to talk to you in person. Let’s face it, eventually, unless you’re doing e-commerce, she’s going to have to meet with you in order to book your service. Use proper grammar and full sentences. Don’t use IM abbreviations (c u later) -- you’re not her college roommate. You haven’t earned the right to be that casual with her yet.

Expect that she’s going to ask the same questions she would in person: How much do you charge? Are you available on my date?  You need to get past those questions in email, the same way you do on the phone and in person. While we know that price is only important after all of her other needs are met, she hasn’t figured that out yet. Let her know that you care about what she wants and that you want to get her the right information to fulfill her needs. In order to do that, you’ll need to get some information from her.

Let her know that the best way to do that is on the phone, and offer to call her at her convenience. If she declines, willingly continue the conversation via email. If you don’t, you won’t get the sale, period. If you do, you have a very good chance of getting the sale, since many of your competitors will give up on her, if they even respond at all.

Here’s a big caveat. If you do list an email address in your ads and on your website, check your inbox often, at least as often as you do your voice mail. The instant nature of digital communications has led to a certain level of impatience. If she emails you, she expects you to answer … soon. While I’ve seen a lot of vendors use Automated Responses, it doesn’t mean that you have read it, and it’s not the response she is looking for.

Should you have a mobile version of your site? Don’t just do it because you think you have to or you’ll be left behind. You need a compelling business reason for having a mobile version of your site. Mobile browsing is still finding its way. There are many different technologies and screen sizes and there’s no universal format, at least not yet. Formatting for an iPhone is not the same as for a BlackBerry. If you have a lot Flash graphics on your website, most mobile users won’t be able to see it.

Wedding planning is done over a long time period. Brides have months to make their decision, not minutes. They’re not likely to need to view your site while they are waiting for a bus. It’s not like ordering a pizza, which she needs to do now, or checking the weather or sports scores. She can wait until she gets home or to the office.

It’s also not likely that your site will translate well to a small screen on a mobile device. If you want to have a conversation via text messaging, that’s OK, after your initial contact with her. It’s almost like email, but I think it will be quite a while until you need to shrink your site to fit her cell phone. The Knot is working on a mobile version for our brides. It will have far less content than our main sites, of course, but the features will be designed specifically for mobile browsers. Local advertisers, like you, will be pleased when you see how brides can access your ads and you won’t have to do anything new to benefit.

My final thoughts: Always assume that you’re not the only one she’s emailed. Yes, she’s shopping around and don’t hold that against her. You shop around when you make a big purchase, why shouldn’t she? Raise the bar so high that when she contacts other vendors she comes back to you. Make it hard not to do business with you.